DADs@HOME: Mindset and Communication

Homeschooling dad Darren Lim encourages fathers that focusing on building a positive mindset and communication can lead to a better outcome for all.

I had opportunities to work from home (WFH), so I find myself slightly more prepared for this period. There was a lot of trial and error initially. With WFH, I observed I have been able to get most of my work done during the boys’ naps and bedtime. 

READ: Kids are most active when they wake up in the morning.

I spend time with them in the morning and explain when it is my turn to work. This doesn’t imply that work isn’t important, but by giving the kids my attention first, they are then able to play by themselves (or bother each other). After I fill their love tanks, they are less likely to disturb me.

My kids love reading and story time, so without fail, there will be at least one pocket of time when I read to them, or tell them a story, or they would do their own silent reading.

Watching them doing activities, crafts, or playing games amongst themselves are happy and precious moments that I take in silently.

Giving my family my time when they need me most is better than making them wait and then receive my leftover. I try to be patient and calm with my wife and children though it’s easier said than done, but I try my best to preserve the harmony at home so I can work peacefully.

With the new normal, I have to adjust my own mindset, and communication with my spouse. 

There are just so many challenges that left me overwhelmed, as a parent and an adult. If I need help, I will talk about it with my wife, or I reach out to friends.

Partnering with my wife in parenting and home-making is vital – take turns to mind the kids and give each other some alone time. We each have equal stakes to help out as we live together as a family.

Family time for me is to give every family member my attention when requested of me. Sometimes I get impatient and fail to acknowledge them. However, I realised that just a few seconds or a couple of minutes gives them the security that I value each of them and that I love them enough to stop whatever I’m doing and to pay attention to them.

– Darren, dad to 3 fearless boys and husband to a wife who chooses to see the fun in everything